To be, or not to be.

I fell in love all over again this past weekend. With Dirk, with suspending, with life.

I am not one to attach any sort of sentiment to suspending. It hurts. I've only done it a handful of times, and although always an amazing time, it doesn't mean anything to me.
I don't connect with any higher being. It isn't sexual. I don't feel "at peace" while hanging in the air by hooks in my back.
I just zone out and swing around, smiling like a lunatic the entire time. There simply isn't time for me to find anything deep in these moments.


But this past weekend sincerely meant something to me. It touched me in a way I didn't realize it would.

Dirk and I met five (six?) years ago at a suspension event.
Little did I know, that man would change my life and so would his introduction to this amazing experience.

My sisters, brother, best friends and father came to watch me suspend.
They were proud of me. Nothing beats that feeling.
I didn't know my dad had come. He came up to the stage when I was getting cleaned up, and I cried. I cried tears of joy. That moment will forever live in my heart as one of the best of my life.

Dirk suspended me as my partner for the first time. It was our anniversary and I can't think of anything more special. Seeing that proud smile over the stage; that look that's only for me, that's what makes my heart happy. HE'S what makes my heart happy.


Suspending reminds me that I am strong. I have pride knowing that no one can ever take that away from me. I have faith knowing that I only surround myself with people who would never try.

Social Network

Since starting this blog (uhh, the day before yesterday) I have:

- Began to follow other blogs
- Become active on my twitter page again
- Hooked up my twitter to my facebook page
- Hooked up my formspring to my twitter, and consequently to my facebook page
- Added a widget here to my twitter page (and tried to add formspring with no luck)
- Added my blog title to my IAM page
- Some other equally crazy social networking things I can't recall

I think its rather exciting. I like to send pictures and rant and all that online constantly. You could even say I was addicted. But when is enough enough?
Am I becoming one of those annoying people that is on your newsfeed all the time?

I don't know what I love so much about it. I used to justify it by saying that I live long distance from my family and best friends, so I wanted that constant connection and to be able to share things with them as often as I wanted. And that remains true, don't get me wrong. Without all this social networking that's available, I would be so much more homesick.
But I'm beginning to wonder if it's all becoming a bit too much. Who even pays that much attention anyway? Does anyone really care what I had for lunch, let alone enough to see a picture of it?

There aren't many people out there that interest me enough that I'd like to know all these things about them, but here I am figuring maybe there's someone who wants to know these things about me.
But I suppose even if there weren't, I'd still write blogs and upload pictures and tweet tweets and change statuses. It's kind of like putting makeup on even when you're sitting at home. It just feels nice.

My plan is to just keep it up until I'm bored. Or run out of things to say.

(I highly doubt the latter will happen, fyi)

Wednesday

Obviously I have started a blog. I am not sure yet what I plan on talking about, or if I will even keep up with it.
Chances are I will blab about things such as work, books, food, love and tattoos. I'll probably tell cute stories and also some funny ones.
Or maybe I'll just post silly pictures. Who knows.

I do blog on IAM but since it is a private community for freaks tattooed and pierced people, not everyone can access it. And let's face it, I think I'm the only person who was "blogging" on facebook anyway.

This being said, I can't guarantee interesting posts. I can't guarantee that I'll post often. And I can't guarantee that anyone will even care enough to read them.
What I can guarantee is humor, sarcasm and bitchiness. Read it if you want.